When I hit “info” on my Digital Cable’s menu option and read that tonight’s episode was called Bubble Trouble, I immediately thought two things. One, it is possible that something happens with Bubbles or Two, someone’s breast implant malfunctioned.
Well the episode starts out with a reoccurring theme: Brittaney feels that she doesn’t fit in being a washed up porn star with all the up and coming strippers and felons amongst the show’s contestants. She said she’s not cut out to be picked on because everyone from her hometown loves her (and her money shots).
Marcia steps off the moment of elimination and decides to celebrate by drinking poolside. Bubbles invites Marcia for a swim with her, but, actually is scared to DEATH when the Latina loses her top. I really think it’s a bad idea to mix tequila, chlorine, and the dangerously low IQ in the house.
The girls are up bright and ugly for their next challenge and are all outfitted with sweats to wear. Bubbles shows off her incredible dance moves like “Give us a sweeeeem, give us a sweeem” and “Row de boat, row de boat” while the girls, particularly Ashley, look on in disgust. What happened to that dancer love?
Today’s example is “Thou should treat thy body like a temple” and to amplify that, the girl’s sit down with Stryker and Dr. Shapiro who tells them how bad smoking, drinking, and eating fast food is. I’m sure these girls aren’t the sharpest crayons in the box, but they must know how bad smoking/drinking/and eating crappily are. Most girls seem to take well to the lesson, but Marcia says (even after Dr. Shapiro describes the terrors of cirrhosis) she still wants some booze. Ashley gets up to do some push-ups and cannot because her boobs are too heavy. Weird. I thought silicone helped ya float, not sink. I guess that only applies to water, though.
The girls split up into teams “playground style” as Ricki puts it to come up with activities for Buff Buddies, a group committed to having fun while keeping kids active and fit. The winner will be the group that racks up the most calories on the kids’ calorie counters attached to their arms in 30 minutes.
Natasha says she hates children because they need to grow up already. And ironically, so does she.
The teams are: Natasha, Brittanya, and K.O.; Brittaney, Ashley, and Bubbles; Bay bay bay, Risky, Marcia.
Ashley laments that she is the smartest on her team and that considerably worries me.
So the girls have 15 minutes to come up with a routine for their groups. Risky’s team seems to have it all together while Brittaney’s team gets blindsided by Bubbles who just wants to “swim in place” prompting a seriously peeved Ashley to roll her eyes and scoff. In Ashley’s defense, Bubbles’ strategies are no good and are sincerely obtuse and far-fetched. Or, as Bubbles describes it: “Bumpy.”
Natasha’s team also has some of the same hiccups… too many opinions in too little of a space.
Another winning quote: “Too many chiefs and not enough Indians.” I shouldn’t be laughing at someone else’s expense... but I can’t help but wonder what goes on in that pintsized brain of Bubbles.
When it comes time for the groups to meet the kids, they realize they have half an hour to get their kids to burn their calories. Winning team goes to the Deans’ List while the losing team heads to detention. The kids are cute to Natasha, but, as she reinforces, only at a distance. Ashley grumbles at how “freaking creepy” Bubbles’ obsession with sea creatures is.
Each team has their kids running and jumping, throwing balls into inner tubes, bouncing on trampolines, “swimming in place” and acting a damn fool. Regardless of how silly it may seem, Buff Buddies’ coach is quite impressed with the way they’re handled. After some delegation, and a bunch of burnt of calories, Natasha’s teams wins with a grand total of 299 calories leaving she, Brittanya, and K.O. safe from expulsion. Natasha wishes she would have been on a team alone because she hates the fact that Brittanya and K.O. ride on the coattails of her victory. Or, as Ashley puts it “Brittanya knows how to deal with kids and there were also two athletic men on their team…” HA.
Ashley blows up at Bubbles saying that working with her was like “talking with a retarded child” which really hurts Bubbles and even prompts some responses from the other girls. These arguments on the show hurt my hearing and an insta-headache usually happens.
Anyway, back t the house, Bubbles decides it’s time for her to move out. Marcia moves too, INTO Brittaney’s bead… and the shocking thing is, is that Brittaney allows it. Well, she allows it because “Stress causes cortisone which causes weight problems and aneurisms and heart attacks.” Hey, at least she got something out of the lesson of the day. At any rate, she calls up her boyfriend to chill out and is caught saying some “mean” things about the rest of the girls or, rather, “teeny boppers.” Apparently those words freak and Bay bay bay and Risky come out and freak out on her claiming she plays “the victim.”
K.O. is confused as to why Brittaney wants so badly to fit in and be accepted if she doesn’t like any of the girls and is so disconnected from all of them. Brittaney just wants to be liked. Newsflash, sweetie, this is a competition, and at the end of the day, another bitch is going to pull out your weave to get her money. Risky says she wishes Ashley and Farrah would’ve kept her locked in the bathroom. I hear ya, girl.
Brittaney sleeps on the tiny couch in the locker room and even Ashley feels bad about it. She said to move into their room because it’s not right to sleep into the couch. Well, obviously, bitch has motives. She wants to pit Brittaney against Marcia because she knows she’s going to get her vote.
At the meeting between Brittaney and Ricki, things seem to be going swimmingly for a tattle tale. Britt tells Ricki about Marcia’s drinking habits. Bubbles also rats out Ashley. Ricki likes the “victimized” Bubbles because she can sense a change in her.
In detention, the final verdict of votes are: Brittaney, Marcia, and Ashley. Surprise, surprise.
The girls deliberate and Ashley apologizes to Bubbles for calling her retarded. Ricki wonders if that’s prompted just because she’s down on the carpet. OF course Ashley says no, but, she’s the kind of Megan bitch that would apologize and be fake for no reason. Marcia claims she has not gotten into anymore arguments, like she’s pledged. And Brittaney is quieter than she’s been since 1989 (according to Stryker). She fakes crying and starts bs’ing about her usual needing to be liked nonsense. Risky pipes up and calls her out because she is a liar and describes the phone conversation she and Bay Bay Bay heard. Lala laments about the lying and fakeness, wondering who Brittaney really is.
Regardless of all the confusion, Ricki takes all the comments into consideration and sends Brittaney packing because Charm School isn’t the best place for her. Ashley is changing and Marcia needs to realize her addiction problem.
At least Brittaney gets to go home and get some “nookie.” Like she hasn’t had more of that in her lifetime than anyone.
Natasha is pissed that nappy, Darth Vader Ashley is still around and makes a plan to get her the eff out. May the force be with you, Natasha.
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