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Monday, June 15, 2009

Chana Masala/Prep Time: 20 minutes/ Cook Time: 3+ hours

by Aleister

Feeds 3-4 alone, 5-6 if served with rice.

Okay, so, before you get all uptight about food that has to cook for several hours- this dish is completely worth it. And while it cooks, you can burn some Nag Champa, do some yoga, and listen to Ravi Shankar. Chana Masala, which translates roughly as “Chickpeas with spices” is an easy dish, a staple of Indian food, and you'll never forget the orgy of taste and spice dancing on your tongue when you eat it.

Ingredients:
1 tbsp olive oil
¼ large white onion
3 cloves garlic
1 large bell pepper, any color
2 cans chickpeas
½ can peas

Spices:
1 dash salt
1 ½ tsp ground cinnamon
1 ½ tsp black pepper (ground or peppercorns)
1 ½ tsp ground cumin
½ tsp turmeric
½ tsp ground ginger
½ tsp ground clove
½ – 1 tsp ground cayenne pepper
½ tsp ground coriander

Preparation:
1. Heat oil and add garlic (whole) and onion (diced). Sauté until onions are soft.

2. Add bell pepper (cubed), both cans of chickpeas (undrained- the liquid will become the sauce), and peas.

3. Stir in spices. For the cayenne, add none for a mild dish*** (which will still have a kick due to the cinnamon and black pepper), add ½ tsp for a medium dish, and 1 tsp for a hot dish. Simmer for as long as you have – the longer the dish cooks, the more time the flavors party together, and the better it tastes in the end. Cook for at least three hours, and if you have ten hours, then cook for ten hours.

**A quick note about the level of heat: If you've eaten Indian food, you know that hot/spicy/ten-out-of-ten means SPICY AS HELL. Adding the full tsp of cayenne will create a dish so spicy that you'll sweat when you eat it, and consume mass amounts of milk to cut the spicy. This is the best way to eat Chana Masala – if you like really, really spicy food, then make this really, really spicy.

Enjoy!

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Do You Want Fries With That?

By Max Gold, Age 13

There’s a quiet little town, in a world, on about a 78 degrees angle from Venus, about 2389329 miles away from Venus, full of really, really, really fat people. These people loved to eat; they would eat everything, from liver to asparagus, from chocolate to Sticky Cheese, and from Jelly to Jam. Now these people were happy people and no one ever put them down.

Outside Earth, there’s this gigantic space ship. This space ship looks exactly like a hamburger, with seeds every few yards and all. Their salt and pepper guns were loaded, and ready to hit this planet full of fat people (although they the McDonaldians didn‘t know they were fat.) The King Grilled Chicken stood up on the ice cream cone pillar, ready to make a speech.

“Hello My fellow McDonaldians” The King Grilled Chicken said. “Today we march down to earth, and we fight to death!” he screamed.

This got much applause, especially from a Chicken nugget, named Crispy Gangsta. “Yeah let’s show dem homies we gunna pop a soda cap up their-” But he was cut off when the king threw a ketchup packet at him. “Shut it. Now unleash all flamin’ hot sauce!” The King screamed.

Down on Earth all the fat people were having a “we-ate-ten-thousand-pieces-of-chicken-day.” Now as we all know that’s a huge celebration, everyone who’s anyone goes there.

Then, out of nowhere, it started raining salt and pepper. Then the sound of hamburgers the size of pillows ringed in everyone ears. Then… a giant pillow sized hamburger flew down from the sky. It was Crispy Gangsta ready for action.

Unfortunately a boy named Chungy saw Crispy’s ship and got over excited. He ran at the hamburger full force, and swallowed Crispy Gangsta whole. Then he tore that hamburger down and ate the entire thing in five seconds, and wanted more. Then the rest of the space ships came down. In half an hour not one scrap of food was left. Except the mother ship which had landed.

“I come to you humans in peace and hope we can make a fair agreement, and-” but he got cut off when Chungy got a little too hungry. He swallowed the king in one gulp. The poor McDonaldians had no idea what was coming… But the voluptuous folk on the ground sure got a lot of fun out of eating the mother ship.

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