It’s not often that I find myself attracted to shows about making clothes or staying in trend. Mostly because I have the fashion sense of a ball of lint, but, at any rate, I was looking forward to the premiere of Bravo’s “The Fashion Show.” To quote our very wise editor Cacia Y. Pepe, “It is the B version of Project Runway,” and that is what it is indeed.
The show’s premise is not unheard of. Fifteen hopeful fashion designers want to win the $125,000 cash prize sponsored by Tresemme, ooh lalaaa. It wouldn’t be a bonkers, catty, dramatic show without the handful of snobby girls and uppity queens—of course, The Fashion Show does not disappoint.
Some particular folks that stood out for me were:
- Merlin-of course, who could ignore that feather-wearing-circus act
- Reco- who designed clothing for strippers
- Johnny- with the huge messy bun of glory
- Kristin- because she looked to be about 8 and dressed like a Cabbage Patch Doll
- James Paul- kind of mousy, anime scary, but talented!
- Daniella- up on her high horse because she went to school in London. I wish her London Bridge would fall down.
Anyhoot—the first miniature challenge was for the contestants to create an evening gown from a little, simple, black t-shirt. Personally, I was super-impressed with the way some of these people turned the heat up on their designs. I don’t think I could do much more besides cut off the sleeves and maybe give the shirt room for cleavage.
Keith, Merlin, and Johnny were our fateful winners and they undoubtedly did the best job. Some of the more… um… “unique” pieces included a garment bag within a dress (and not the other way around) as well as a purple-seamed modern day “Barney” dress. Blah. Anyway.
The winner chose teams in a high-end fashionista version of Dodgeball and then each team was to create five looks for an essential piece. At this point I found myself taking notes because I had to channel my inner straight girl. So. We had: Merlin’s team with the Belero jacket (Had no idea what that was until I saw it… thought they were saying Velero Jacket which translated from Spanish would mean Sailboat jacket…Dios Mio); Keith’s team with the pencil skirt (a major, epic, fail); and Johnny’s team with “arab”(hammer) pants.
There were some sewing issues, to say the least. Naughty, naughty Kristin and Johnny, whose models could barely fit in their skirts and outfits—which were absolutely atrocious by the way.
So I was kind of losing interest in this show at this point. Aside from minor squabbles over colors and minor boastings about education, I was yearning for more drama. I guess the biggest point was when Merlin told Daniella something chauvinistic and stupid and she got all uppity and I got all bored.
The Fashion Show portion of the program came toward the end where each team got the chance to showcase their pieces in front of a live audience, Mizrahi, Rowland, Fern Mallis, and guest-judge Ellie Tahari. Needless to say, the judges were nonplussed with the results and I was cringing with the debut of the “pencil” dress… the models (small-framed girls) looked like something you’d see on an overweight girl at a nightclub in the SouthSide of Pittsburgh and not rocking in some couture runway.
The only plus side was James Paul whose rendition of evening wear with his Belero jacket had him winning favor of the judges for this week and left fellow teammates Kristin and Johnny in the hot seat. (Whoops, wrong show)… In the throes of elimination. Johnny wasn’t well-suited for the job and the judges felt Kristin would be a more creative voice overall. Personally, I never want to hear her whiny little voice again.
So alas this will be my first—and last—review of this show. May someone else give it justice.
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