Charm School with Ricki Lake/ Vh1/ Mondays

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Charm School w/ Ricki Lake/ Vh1/ Mondays

by Roughian

This may just be me, but it seems like it rains a helluva lot on the set where Charm School is filmed. Or maybe it's just for affect. Peanuts-Style. It was a dark and stormy night *cue wind* when there arose a clatter from the upstairs bedroom, creeping upstairs I threw open the door and screamed! An awful, terrrrible fright! The girls without makeup! AGH!!!

Just kidding-- they sleep in their makeup, duh.

Natasha's main goal in the house is to "get rid of Darth Vader Ashley." The moniker was earned by the nasty ass piece of death that rests helmet-like over the blonde's head. Along the same lines, Marcia seems to be hell-bent on egging on the rather hot-headed Brittanya. Since Britt's got a track record, she can't kick the tequila-gulping babe's ass like she wants to. Instead, she and Ashley just snuggle up in bed and hiss mean-spirited remarks at Marcia. Wait, are we sure this is a new episode?

The commandment d'jour is "Thou Shalt Face Thy Fears!" The girls meet with a world-renowned fear-specialist who describes that fears build up from prior hurt, thus making people defensive and moody, and "cool." Vh1's cinematic gold does a quick shot to each of the girl's who all nod affirmatively. I was waiting for Bubbles to raise her hand and shout "Hallelujah!" But no dice. On a more serious, hormonal note, I definitely felt my eyes welling up at the admittance of Brittanya's darkest fear-- not being there for her son because of her impending jail time and subsequently screwing him up as a person. Ashley can definitely relate and cries strategically so as not to smudge her makeup.

K.O. is next who admits she's afraid of losing her brother, stating that it's not even worth being alive without him. The whole teary-eyed bunch comes up and tells K.O. some of her strong points. How dare you, Vh1! How dare you play on my heightened emotional state! I demand chocolate and Midol from you for life!

Next is Baybaybay who claims she has a stalker. Dr. Allie's means of resolving this is to turn some of the fear to God. Then, the girls play "light as a feather stiff as a board" and encircle Baybaybay, lifting her up so that she can fully feel all the fear-releasing goodness inside of her. Baybaybay learns that she needs to let go. If she really has a stalker, then that's seriously fucked up. But part of me is wondering why she'd broadcast it on television-- it's only going to fuel the sicko's fire.

Ashley gets up saying that she is also kind of ashamed of what her son has to look up to as a role model. She also gives a sappy story about her mom working a 10 dollar an hour job and supporting two kids. I think I'd strip too. Tons of cash and Tyco toys for your little brat. I wouldn't have the darth hair, though.

Bubbles says she was sexually abused. And I'm not going to make a crack about that, because it's not right. And the support thing was actually kind of beautiful. Gosh, I wish more women would realize there are groups and support like that. Keeping it all bottled up inside is no good... at all.

On to Natasha, who basically says she's scared of people because they're crazy. But she's not, right? Dr. Allie says that way of thought is not actually living... saying that Natasha needs to crack open and try to live again. But Natasha won't do it, much to the disappointment of Lala! And me. Stupid Natasha and her deep, pretentious man voice. Away with thee!

Risky bawls. I'm sure the girl's got some serious demons. But she doesn't want to talk about them and after explicitly stating it, K.O. goes "I mean it's really clear Natasha doesn't want to open up..." Does Vh1 need that little mindless quip? are they really trying to fill that much space? Even Farrah watching at home can probably comprehend this...

The challenge involves puffy, colorful jackets and other warm clothes, but the nature of it remains undisclosed.

Baybaybay says that she can now see why everyone acts a fool in the house. It wasn't hard to guess that.

Well regardless, the chicas load up onto the bus and pull up in front of a pretty run down edifice resembling an old asylum or hospital. Baybaybay gets quote of the night by saying "I'm thinking it's an insane asylum...we just got rid of Brittaney Starr, and I don't need anymore crazy people in my life!" Except the other 5 girls sharing the bus with you.

The challenge takes place at an old hospital that is now believed to be haunted. The girls look on with wide-eyed fear about what they'll be doing there. As an avid paranormal television fan, I'd want Chip Coffey, a rosary, and maybe some kind of Ghostbustin' equipment ala Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd.

Stryker explains that the girls' challenge is to make the hospital safer. Why at night? Because it is time to face fears! But, weird, no one talked about being afraid of ghosts. Unless these ghosts are stalking, homewrecking, evil, evil men then I'm not sure how this is going to correlate. In the dark, alone, in an abandoned hospital is not the same type of fear. The good news is, these ridiculous challenges raise money for various charities. Couldn't they just have a bake sale or a mixer like normal sorostitutes?

Basically the set up of the challenge is like MTV's oldschool show "Fear"... with the safe room and the communicator. The blue team chooses Risky as their communicator. And the pink team chooses Baybaybay.

The first task is closing and securing open body lockers in the morgue for 200 dollars for charity. This task is for Natasha and Bubbles who follow Risky's directions in the dark and creepy hospital until they find what they're looking for. The morgue is littered in debris and spider webs. The directions are to close up the broken doors, but to first remove all of the junk in front. The first broken door closes easily but the other has something lodged in it, which Natasha beckons Bubbles to climb into and fix. Bubbles does it and Natasha gets pissed when the girl's a little jumpy. Seriously? You try climbing into a morgue door in the pitch black, sweetheart. I'm pretty sure that's why you sent the dumb one in to do it.

Pink team's task is collecting rat traps from the laboratory. Marcia and K.O. suit up for this one, cussing from the get go as a strategy to ward off any lingering spirits. Of course! That's what you should do to -not- aggravate spirits. The whole thing is extremely comical. Marcia kicks and bitches her way into boarding up the window and sticks by her whole swearing at the spirits motif. After that is completed, the girls gather up all the rats in the traps.

Ashley's next for the blue team and her task is to disarm the electrowhositwhatsit machine down there, alone. she says she's terrified of the rats, but I'm pretty sure the rats would be terrified of her, too. Ashley ends up in the creepiest room...with a shock treatment chair and a bunch of psycho graffiti all over the wall. To top it all off, the reception on the walkie is going and Ashley's petrified. I would have ran away screaming at that point. Visions of things coming out of the walls and up to take my soul peppering me along the way. Anyway, Ashley gets lost enough for Natasha to have to go down there and rescue her. Natasha claims she's a fuck up, but, hey...I'm sure she would have done the same exact thing. Unless, I think I've figured her out. She's a vampire. The Twilight kind that can be out in daylight and glitters!

Brittanya's last and she basically breezes through her challenge-- which is to clean up all the junk in the testing room. Well, biohazard-laden materials. In another sheer light of genius, Brittanya explains she "doesn't know what that means... and that there are a bunch of scissors and shit what should [she] do?" Vocabulary challenges aside, she completes the task and compliments Baybaybay on her directional skills (after being asked "And how were the directions?" by the source).

Marcia, K.O, Baybaybay, and Brittanya win leaving Risky, Bubbles, Natasha and Ashley in the detention room. Natasha, Bubbles, and Ashley are on the carpet.

Ashley says that Bubbles needs to leave because she's stupid... but, alas, then she can't even open the door the right way to get out of the room. What a smirk on Stryker, too.

At the deliberation, the trio of Charmers talk about Risky and Natasha's lack of changing saying that Natasha outrightly refused while Risky seemed to have some kind of legitimate rationale in that she didn't want to talk about them again. Stryker says that's a cop out, but Stryker is a cop out, too…so I guess it takes one to know one?

Bubbles has a complete meltdown and I know I shouldn't laugh but I was reminded of Austin Powers, when Mr. Powers wakes up and CANNOT CONTROL the VOLUME of HIs VoICE! Bubbles just seems to panic and try to make a claim for herself saying that she was brave and all that junk. Stryker and even Ricki seem to have a hard time holding back their giggles. I'm not sure why Bubbles is on the carpet, though…but if there's only 4 to choose from I suppose it makes some sense.

Oh! I almost forgot! Marcia makes a promise not to drink while on the show. She says one sip and she's out. One can almost smell the plotting between Ashley and Brittanya who will probably infuse Tequila into her orange juice or something. Have I been watching this show too long? I shouldn't think of sabotaging ways like that!

Natasha claims she voted for Ashley because "The only reason [Ashley] is doing anything is because Farrah's not here" which makes no sense to me, Ricki, or Ashley. But Ricki also has her doubts because this is the fourth time Ashley's been down on the carpet and it's a bit unsettling to the ex-talk show host.

Well after some deliberation, Ricki thinks that Ashley still has strides to make and thus leaves Bubbles and Natasha on the carpet. Bubbles tries to defend herself again, saying she has made changes. There goes that volume of her voice. Oye vey!

The high-pitched pleading seems to work for Ricki and she saves Bubbles, thus sending Natasha home claiming she doesn't seem to want change as much as the other girls and she hasn't come far enough along yet. After her expulsion, Natasha says she doesn't want to change because if she opens up she'll undoubtedly find friends just like Ashley. Exactly! We all are just like Ashley. It ain't stripping if you got it, after all.

Good choice, Rick.

Charm School with Ricki Lake/ Vh1/ Tuesdays

by Roughian

When I hit “info” on my Digital Cable’s menu option and read that tonight’s episode was called Bubble Trouble, I immediately thought two things. One, it is possible that something happens with Bubbles or Two, someone’s breast implant malfunctioned.

Well the episode starts out with a reoccurring theme: Brittaney feels that she doesn’t fit in being a washed up porn star with all the up and coming strippers and felons amongst the show’s contestants. She said she’s not cut out to be picked on because everyone from her hometown loves her (and her money shots).

Marcia steps off the moment of elimination and decides to celebrate by drinking poolside. Bubbles invites Marcia for a swim with her, but, actually is scared to DEATH when the Latina loses her top. I really think it’s a bad idea to mix tequila, chlorine, and the dangerously low IQ in the house.

The girls are up bright and ugly for their next challenge and are all outfitted with sweats to wear. Bubbles shows off her incredible dance moves like “Give us a sweeeeem, give us a sweeem” and “Row de boat, row de boat” while the girls, particularly Ashley, look on in disgust. What happened to that dancer love?

Today’s example is “Thou should treat thy body like a temple” and to amplify that, the girl’s sit down with Stryker and Dr. Shapiro who tells them how bad smoking, drinking, and eating fast food is. I’m sure these girls aren’t the sharpest crayons in the box, but they must know how bad smoking/drinking/and eating crappily are. Most girls seem to take well to the lesson, but Marcia says (even after Dr. Shapiro describes the terrors of cirrhosis) she still wants some booze. Ashley gets up to do some push-ups and cannot because her boobs are too heavy. Weird. I thought silicone helped ya float, not sink. I guess that only applies to water, though.

The girls split up into teams “playground style” as Ricki puts it to come up with activities for Buff Buddies, a group committed to having fun while keeping kids active and fit. The winner will be the group that racks up the most calories on the kids’ calorie counters attached to their arms in 30 minutes.

Natasha says she hates children because they need to grow up already. And ironically, so does she.

The teams are: Natasha, Brittanya, and K.O.; Brittaney, Ashley, and Bubbles; Bay bay bay, Risky, Marcia.

Ashley laments that she is the smartest on her team and that considerably worries me.

So the girls have 15 minutes to come up with a routine for their groups. Risky’s team seems to have it all together while Brittaney’s team gets blindsided by Bubbles who just wants to “swim in place” prompting a seriously peeved Ashley to roll her eyes and scoff. In Ashley’s defense, Bubbles’ strategies are no good and are sincerely obtuse and far-fetched. Or, as Bubbles describes it: “Bumpy.”

Natasha’s team also has some of the same hiccups… too many opinions in too little of a space.

Another winning quote: “Too many chiefs and not enough Indians.” I shouldn’t be laughing at someone else’s expense... but I can’t help but wonder what goes on in that pintsized brain of Bubbles.

When it comes time for the groups to meet the kids, they realize they have half an hour to get their kids to burn their calories. Winning team goes to the Deans’ List while the losing team heads to detention. The kids are cute to Natasha, but, as she reinforces, only at a distance. Ashley grumbles at how “freaking creepy” Bubbles’ obsession with sea creatures is.

Each team has their kids running and jumping, throwing balls into inner tubes, bouncing on trampolines, “swimming in place” and acting a damn fool. Regardless of how silly it may seem, Buff Buddies’ coach is quite impressed with the way they’re handled. After some delegation, and a bunch of burnt of calories, Natasha’s teams wins with a grand total of 299 calories leaving she, Brittanya, and K.O. safe from expulsion. Natasha wishes she would have been on a team alone because she hates the fact that Brittanya and K.O. ride on the coattails of her victory. Or, as Ashley puts it “Brittanya knows how to deal with kids and there were also two athletic men on their team…” HA.

Ashley blows up at Bubbles saying that working with her was like “talking with a retarded child” which really hurts Bubbles and even prompts some responses from the other girls. These arguments on the show hurt my hearing and an insta-headache usually happens.

Anyway, back t the house, Bubbles decides it’s time for her to move out. Marcia moves too, INTO Brittaney’s bead… and the shocking thing is, is that Brittaney allows it. Well, she allows it because “Stress causes cortisone which causes weight problems and aneurisms and heart attacks.” Hey, at least she got something out of the lesson of the day. At any rate, she calls up her boyfriend to chill out and is caught saying some “mean” things about the rest of the girls or, rather, “teeny boppers.” Apparently those words freak and Bay bay bay and Risky come out and freak out on her claiming she plays “the victim.”

K.O. is confused as to why Brittaney wants so badly to fit in and be accepted if she doesn’t like any of the girls and is so disconnected from all of them. Brittaney just wants to be liked. Newsflash, sweetie, this is a competition, and at the end of the day, another bitch is going to pull out your weave to get her money. Risky says she wishes Ashley and Farrah would’ve kept her locked in the bathroom. I hear ya, girl.

Brittaney sleeps on the tiny couch in the locker room and even Ashley feels bad about it. She said to move into their room because it’s not right to sleep into the couch. Well, obviously, bitch has motives. She wants to pit Brittaney against Marcia because she knows she’s going to get her vote.

At the meeting between Brittaney and Ricki, things seem to be going swimmingly for a tattle tale. Britt tells Ricki about Marcia’s drinking habits. Bubbles also rats out Ashley. Ricki likes the “victimized” Bubbles because she can sense a change in her.

In detention, the final verdict of votes are: Brittaney, Marcia, and Ashley. Surprise, surprise.

The girls deliberate and Ashley apologizes to Bubbles for calling her retarded. Ricki wonders if that’s prompted just because she’s down on the carpet. OF course Ashley says no, but, she’s the kind of Megan bitch that would apologize and be fake for no reason. Marcia claims she has not gotten into anymore arguments, like she’s pledged. And Brittaney is quieter than she’s been since 1989 (according to Stryker). She fakes crying and starts bs’ing about her usual needing to be liked nonsense. Risky pipes up and calls her out because she is a liar and describes the phone conversation she and Bay Bay Bay heard. Lala laments about the lying and fakeness, wondering who Brittaney really is.

Regardless of all the confusion, Ricki takes all the comments into consideration and sends Brittaney packing because Charm School isn’t the best place for her. Ashley is changing and Marcia needs to realize her addiction problem.

At least Brittaney gets to go home and get some “nookie.” Like she hasn’t had more of that in her lifetime than anyone.

Natasha is pissed that nappy, Darth Vader Ashley is still around and makes a plan to get her the eff out. May the force be with you, Natasha.

Charm School (w/ Rikki Lake) / Vh1/ Monday Nights

By Roughian

So Hood flips out, crying, thinking that Kiki should not have gone home. Saying she wants to go home and swearing so much all I can hear is BLEEEEEEEp You BLEEP EEEP BLEEEP serious? That’s all. Not even So Hood’s man can seem to calm her as she freaks out. But that doesn’t help and she slams the phone down and freaks out some more. Because this show would be a bunch of whiny bitches with too much makeup that just stood around, and the concept of Real Housewives of New Jersey/Atlanta/New York has already been thought of…

Anyway, Farrah, Ashley, and Brittanya are outside. Brit wants to go kick someone’s ass, but, she calmly explains that she’s in trouble with the law. Probably because she hit Ambre…or was that Heather? On that last season of Rock of Love. Eyeroll.

At any rate, So Hood’s temper tantrum leaves her in the back seat of the company car on her way home. Bay Bay Bay feigns innocence and care for a moment and I sat there waiting… waiting for those words… But they did not come. They will though, I can feel it.

Farrah makes some off-hand remarks about how she feels like she got dropped off in the ghetto and hates the way the girls in the house are just screaming like lunatics. She continues to drive her point home by saying she wouldn’t even strip in a club this ghetto. Really, honey? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. At any rate, she too “Drops out” of charm school to follow a life full of stripper poles and Chlamydia.

Brittaney prays over an orange that God will give her strength from those that fuck with her… I’m sure God appreciates the F-bomb now and then. Right on. Brittanya and Ashley cuddle up in their Farrah-less quarters, and a smack-talking Brit manages a few nasty remarks about the gender-bending Natasha.

Ricki calls for an assembly so the girls can talk about their feelings. And there it is, the words I was thinking about earlier: a black and white thing… that’s what it boils down to. Lala speaks up, which I think is a relief to some of the girls, for obvious reasons. And I hate to say it, but it seems the women are pacified by what she has to say. Baybaybay steps up and begins to proclaim loudly that she is not ghetto. Nope, not at all. She’s educated. So, I guess when Bubbles tried to apologize and you stuck your finger in her face and swung your neck around… you were just being educated, right? BULL. These girls are ALL ghetto. They all fight, scream, drink, bitch, and strip for their cash. That’s why they’re here.

Ashley explains that her son is half-white, and the subsequent section of her talking is probably the most human that I’ve seen her. She apologizes to Brittaney and has Ricki tearing up. Everyone hugs it out, but not before K.O. randomly calls Brittaney out. Like I said in my previous review, I didn’t even know K.O. was on this show. So for her to say that Brittaney was out of control just made me giggle.

Fighting ensues back at the barracks and Brittaney yells at K.O. for calling her an instigator. K.O. claims she never called her that, but did in fact mention that she provoked a lot of the arguments. I hope Ricki gives vocabulary lessons along with how to be a charming woman. You know it’s bad when Baybaybay says she’d rather have Farrah back in the house than listen to this bickering nonsense.

Just another normal day when Brittanya wakes up and has to go to court. Of course. Natasha and Marcia talk about Brittanya’s fakeness and I’m pretty sure that Natasha is indeed a dude. Brittanya returns with no news and she and Ash talk about how much jail would suck—obviously.

The challenge is to mingle with people you have nothing in common with which turns out to be members of a senior citizen center. The girls have to keep their mingling G rated, though. Which you think would be easy for some. Except Brittaney, claiming she’s “tight in all the right spots”… are you trying to be funny lady? All that porn… bahaha. Be thankful these oldies can’t access xtube.

Little Bubbles makes me smile as she talks to Laurel about her murder mysteries. And Brittanya uses that gorgeous little bootay to try and win some of the affections. Risky wonders if old men can still get hard… I wondered that, too. But alas, I was not able to wipe it away like an etch-a-sketch. Sadface. K.O wants a family of her own and finds a surrogate-gramma in Anita which is cute, until K.O. starts to get all high pitched about it.

So I stand corrected, old dudes can watch porn. For one of the older men recognize Brittaney from being “in the nude…” At any rate, the big drama of the night is when an elderly man falls down (right next to braindead Natasha, who makes no recognition of the poor man) and is swiftly aided by BayBayBay. Good job, girl. What the hell is wrong with the others? Ashley even saw the guy take a spill and just stood there like a numb nuts.

Anyway, Baybaybay wins, and I think she deserves it. She’s not being a mouthy bitch so, something must be going right. Maybe they should stick her around senior citizens some more. Hey wait, is Flava Flav doing another season?

Natasha tries to get everyone against Brittaney, Brittanya, and Bubbles (I don’t get what the hell Bubbles has done to anyone)… who actually all end up on the carpet. I thought Ricki, Lala, and Stryker were a little smarter than this. Obviously the ladies are going to try to pit against one another.

Anyway, the girls come down to the carpet. Brittaney wears headphones with no music and decides to dance to the beat of her own drummer. Lala tells her it looks disrespectful and Brit. Star responds with “Whoops didn’t think of that…!” What exactly did she think she would accomplish with this look? No idea.

Ricki doesn’t send anyone home and claims it’s because they all did so well. Actually, I think it’s because Farrah and So Hood went home… but that’s just me. Whatevs.

Charm School w/ Rikki Lake/ Vh1/ Monday Nights

By Roughian


So obviously the ladies are happy that Beverly is gone from last episode's hair-pulling tirade. I always thought she was a lesbian, so it was kind of a shock to me when she went out screeching about her kids having a bad role model (little late, ya hurrrd?)

So, the show opens up with the brillance that is Marcia, saying that she wants a shot of tequila but a mimosa will do. I think it's So Hood that says the girl needs rehab and then some charm. Cough--VH1, are you listening? I smell a new marketing plan.

The girls meet a social activist and get down to real issues. Bubbles tells us all about the ozone depleting and the scariness of global warming while Ashley says she is bored because she knows about this and in her tranny tone says that she won't use aerosol hairspray anymore. I'm pretty sure they really don't make it like that anymore unless you get something cheap. Which I'm sure striperella does not partake in.

Marcia gives a truly heart-tugging story about growing up poor in Brazil and having to take a wee in a hole in the ground. Bubbles, smartly, retorts that poor people can be happy too. Of course. Everyone wants to live the slum dream, sweetie.

So the girls suit up in teams based on the colors of their jumpsuits and obviously the most outspoken and annoying *COUGH* FARRAH *COUGH* and her other blondetourage member are on the same team, the others are a bit worried.

Loading up on the bus, the girls discuss their challenge and the further delving of Real Chance of Love girls vs. Rock of Love girls wakes up. And then, they arrive on location--the set of Slumdog Millionaire. Oh, shit, I lied... it's actually the LA river that the girls are meant to clean up.

Ricki Lake, I didn't realize you were SUCH a humanitarian.

So whoever does the best job cleaning, wins. But Ashley thinks "whoever wants to put their trash in a cement river, go ahead". Risky's team is going for the biggest items they can find and then try to get all the things they can. Ashley barely moves claiming this is worse than giving a lap dance to a fat man. I hardly see the correlation, Ash. But then again, your line of work is quite stressful. Surprisingly, Farrah is doing fantastic according to LaaLaa. As for the other girls-- I'm not sure what the hell these girls thought cleaning a river up would entail, but they are surprised when their clothes and shoes are wet.

Green Team wins! They are the All-Stars. Kiki needs to shut up and not bitch about broken nails. Don't agree to come on the stupid show. If you don't want to do these challenges. I agree, Farrah. Shut Baybaybay up or better yet make her fall on her bony little knees like on Real Chance of Love. Oh yes, I went there! And of course, there is a stupid, yelling, second-grade fight on the bus back home. Stripperellas in the back claim that they're here for the wrong reasons when just a bit before that in the river Ashley wouldn't even pick up anything (including her dignity).

Kiki and bay Bay Bay FREAK out on Bubbles and I'm not sure why. Regardless, I wanted to slap the shit out of all of them.

Cue Marcia's mojito mohawk. Cue Patron. Cue BayBayBay's hypocritical yelling and head canting and pointing. Cue Marcia slurring out "SoHo" on purpose instead of So Hood's actual name. And of course So Hood wants Marcia "Outta there on the next thing smokin' going toward Brazil..."
Ashley and Farrah are little shits and want to pick on Brittaney Star and lock her in the bathroom. Then feed her hot dogs under the door. I don't even think they're drunk (because Ashley isn't throwing around Lean Cuisines). So then, as SWEET retribution, Brittaney puts a plastic bug and cookie crumbs in Farrah's bed... WOOOOOW.

Never take life advice from Baybaybay, Brittaney... EVER. Or any of those Real Chance girls. They're really not the best role models. Neither are Rock of Loves or... actually... Ricki Lake, unless you aspire to be a talk show host when you're older. 'Kiss my black ass' is the big defensive that the girls teach Britt, which she promptly shouts out over the balcony.
Ricki has Brittaney come in to her office and she gets defensive when she learns the girls called Ms. Star fat... which, I think Megan and idiot tried to pull with Sharon Osborne and of course it hurts Ricki's previously plus-sized ego . Marcia cries and Ricki warns her about her excessive drinking. Bubbles, the poor thing, is upset and begs Ricki not to tell Kiki that she's in here badmouthing her. Risky is just basically reporting all of the same junk. K.O... I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS ON HERE. Dang. Anyway she talks about Kiki being threatening… like everyone else.
Marcia, Kiki, and Ashley are the girls that are going to be on the carpet-- surprise, surprise... Kiki's a mouthy, disgusting, little bitch and I agree with Farrah saying the Real Chance of Love chicas can't understand each other because they're just screaming so loud. I honestly have a headache after listening to the drivel.

So the three of them bitch it out, each one playing the shesaidshesaid game. And then of course, there's a dramatic stampede of Brett's rejects out of the elimination hall. And the other girls go head out to the detention room and my headache worsened.

Change is hard. And you'll never change when you walk out on the moment it gets a little tough. Thank you, Ricki. You are increasingly intelligent.

As Ashley explains she wants to better herself for her son, I cannot believe these girls have fucking CHILDREN. They ARE children.

Kiki goes home, which I really wasn't surprised about. LaaLaa's worried it's turning into a black-white thing. It is turning into a black and white thing, I think! (and as the previews for next week denote). Why Baybaybay and Kiki have to fucking hug and rock in the middle of the room is behind me, but it's still just adds to the drama. And of course So Hood has a melt down which we will have the privilege to see next episode.

All in all a drama-packed episode. Hot dogs, hot tempers, and hot messes. Tune in next week for a surprising reprisal of the race card.

For now, I'm going to watch “New York Goes to Work” or, “Simple Life in The Hood…” Love her!