dinner is foreplay for city folk
dinner

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Thai Me Up/Pittsburgh’s South Side/Thai

by Imogen V. Shahrazad

Ok, I’ll be honest. I’m a big-time wimp. I can’t handle even the most pathetic level of spice in my food. More than one waiter/waitress has derived great amusement from my request for a spice level or zero or one and a glass of milk to ease the inevitable burn. I swear this is relevant information in light of my relationship with the food at Thai Me Up, as I’ll explain in a moment.

Thai Me Up is an adorable twenty-seat restaurant on E. Carson St. Cheery orange walls and large plate-glass windows provide lots of light and make this a great place for a casual dinner with a few friends or an informal date. The servers are extremely polite and prompt, and you can plan on being out of the restaurant in under an hour if you’re in a hurry. Or you could, you know, hang out. In general, the atmosphere is almost suspiciously non-threatening.

As far as beverages go, Thai Me Up makes the best Thai iced tea I’ve ever had. The red tea is topped with a layer of sweetened milk that doesn’t get gooey or sticky on the bottom of the glass, which is a problem I’ve encountered at other restaurants. Admittedly, it’s so sweet that I find it hard to finish sometimes, but I can almost always convince a friend to finish it for me.

As an appetizer, my dining partner Chaynes and I always split an order of spring rolls. Each order comes with two fried rolls with an assortment of shredded vegetables inside. The sweet dipping sauce makes a perfect accompaniment. Also, they are small enough that they won’t ruin your appetite before your entrée arrives.

Finally, my choice for Best Entrée of ALL TIME is the pineapple curry. Remember how I said spicy food is not my thing? This dish is so delicious that I don’t mind the dripping nose and the tingle of dissolving taste buds that I experience as a result of eating curry. The meal is served as a small mound of white rice in a little bowl and a larger bowl of the curry itself. The curry sauce is a beautiful creamy orange mix of coconut milk and red curry filled with a mix of sliced carrots, pineapple chunks, and in my case, fried tofu. (Others may choose to add meat instead.) This is the kind of dish that proves simplicity works.

In short, Thai Me Up is fun, tasty, has a delightfully naughty name, and definitely worth repeat trips.

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Do You Want Fries With That?

By Max Gold, Age 13

There’s a quiet little town, in a world, on about a 78 degrees angle from Venus, about 2389329 miles away from Venus, full of really, really, really fat people. These people loved to eat; they would eat everything, from liver to asparagus, from chocolate to Sticky Cheese, and from Jelly to Jam. Now these people were happy people and no one ever put them down.

Outside Earth, there’s this gigantic space ship. This space ship looks exactly like a hamburger, with seeds every few yards and all. Their salt and pepper guns were loaded, and ready to hit this planet full of fat people (although they the McDonaldians didn‘t know they were fat.) The King Grilled Chicken stood up on the ice cream cone pillar, ready to make a speech.

“Hello My fellow McDonaldians” The King Grilled Chicken said. “Today we march down to earth, and we fight to death!” he screamed.

This got much applause, especially from a Chicken nugget, named Crispy Gangsta. “Yeah let’s show dem homies we gunna pop a soda cap up their-” But he was cut off when the king threw a ketchup packet at him. “Shut it. Now unleash all flamin’ hot sauce!” The King screamed.

Down on Earth all the fat people were having a “we-ate-ten-thousand-pieces-of-chicken-day.” Now as we all know that’s a huge celebration, everyone who’s anyone goes there.

Then, out of nowhere, it started raining salt and pepper. Then the sound of hamburgers the size of pillows ringed in everyone ears. Then… a giant pillow sized hamburger flew down from the sky. It was Crispy Gangsta ready for action.

Unfortunately a boy named Chungy saw Crispy’s ship and got over excited. He ran at the hamburger full force, and swallowed Crispy Gangsta whole. Then he tore that hamburger down and ate the entire thing in five seconds, and wanted more. Then the rest of the space ships came down. In half an hour not one scrap of food was left. Except the mother ship which had landed.

“I come to you humans in peace and hope we can make a fair agreement, and-” but he got cut off when Chungy got a little too hungry. He swallowed the king in one gulp. The poor McDonaldians had no idea what was coming… But the voluptuous folk on the ground sure got a lot of fun out of eating the mother ship.

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