dinner is foreplay for city folk
dinner

Friday, June 19, 2009

Beauty Bar / New York City / Booze & Manicures

by Eriq

Next time you’re in the East Village, stop by the Beauty Bar for a drink or two. It’s a few steps away from the metro stop at 3rd Ave and 14th St, so stop in and enjoy some good music and get a great… manicure?

If you're like me, you don't live in New York City and can't imagine a legal activity that would allow you to afford to do so. Thus, you and I are Visitors To The City (tourist is a four-letter word meaning "please overcharge me"). Using trial and error to find a bar that suits your taste can be time- and money-consuming (think $5 for a glass of water and $13 for a mixed drink), so I did a bit of research before my trip.

My search led me to a former beauty salon now operating as the Beauty Bar. The retro-themed bar, with a row of old sit-down helmet hairdryers, offers some charm and authenticity in a city that can sometimes be short on both. In the afternoon and early evening, the Beauty Bar’s front room is a quiet place to get a drink after a day of exploring the city on foot. As night falls, the overhead lights dim and the music is turned up as the bar transforms into a dance party. After dark, you’ll probably have an easier time getting the attention of the bartender in the back room (it’ll be the one with the loop of Duran Duran videos playing on the wall). On a recent Saturday night visit, the DJ was spinning a pretty great mix of 70’s & 80’s classics and modern dance tracks. I probably would’ve gotten tired of just one or the other, but the DJ kept it fresh and interesting in a way that just another 80’s night wouldn’t have.

Although the nightly $10 “Martini and Manicure” special wasn’t for me, my female traveling companions were overjoyed about the prospect of enjoying both of these things at the same time. The hype turned out to be warranted. The two manicurists on hand were talkative, talented, and each offered a stylish rainbow of nail polish. Throw in a martini (or a beer or what-have-you)? Not bad for 10 dollars. The memory of a manicure-less $13 drink seemed like robbery by comparison. And I think we all know that it’s pretty rare that people leave the bar looking more fabulous than when they came in.

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Do You Want Fries With That?

By Max Gold, Age 13

There’s a quiet little town, in a world, on about a 78 degrees angle from Venus, about 2389329 miles away from Venus, full of really, really, really fat people. These people loved to eat; they would eat everything, from liver to asparagus, from chocolate to Sticky Cheese, and from Jelly to Jam. Now these people were happy people and no one ever put them down.

Outside Earth, there’s this gigantic space ship. This space ship looks exactly like a hamburger, with seeds every few yards and all. Their salt and pepper guns were loaded, and ready to hit this planet full of fat people (although they the McDonaldians didn‘t know they were fat.) The King Grilled Chicken stood up on the ice cream cone pillar, ready to make a speech.

“Hello My fellow McDonaldians” The King Grilled Chicken said. “Today we march down to earth, and we fight to death!” he screamed.

This got much applause, especially from a Chicken nugget, named Crispy Gangsta. “Yeah let’s show dem homies we gunna pop a soda cap up their-” But he was cut off when the king threw a ketchup packet at him. “Shut it. Now unleash all flamin’ hot sauce!” The King screamed.

Down on Earth all the fat people were having a “we-ate-ten-thousand-pieces-of-chicken-day.” Now as we all know that’s a huge celebration, everyone who’s anyone goes there.

Then, out of nowhere, it started raining salt and pepper. Then the sound of hamburgers the size of pillows ringed in everyone ears. Then… a giant pillow sized hamburger flew down from the sky. It was Crispy Gangsta ready for action.

Unfortunately a boy named Chungy saw Crispy’s ship and got over excited. He ran at the hamburger full force, and swallowed Crispy Gangsta whole. Then he tore that hamburger down and ate the entire thing in five seconds, and wanted more. Then the rest of the space ships came down. In half an hour not one scrap of food was left. Except the mother ship which had landed.

“I come to you humans in peace and hope we can make a fair agreement, and-” but he got cut off when Chungy got a little too hungry. He swallowed the king in one gulp. The poor McDonaldians had no idea what was coming… But the voluptuous folk on the ground sure got a lot of fun out of eating the mother ship.

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