by Veronica Wilks
I admit, despite going through “hard news” journalism school, I am in no way an unbiased journalist when it comes to reviewing anything involving Paris Hilton. I’m pretty sure the world would be just fine without her, and the only thing she was involved in that I can favorably review is the episode of Southpark that based a storyline around her. It was called “Stupid Spoiled Cunt.” So…there’s my disclaimer.
In the second season of this show, contestants compete to be Paris’ new best friend. It’s your standard reality show contestants: deluded, pathetic, seeking 15 minutes of fame. OK fine. But can’t they do it with dignity on The Bad Girls Club? Bending before the throne of a woman whose greatest achievement is…oh wait…there isn’t one…is beyond worthless. Like Paris, these people have no talent, personality, or skills to speak of. Many of the contestants look alike, and are former strippers or cocktail waitresses, so it’s impossible (and pointless) to remember who each one is.
Even if I let all that go, the format of the show really annoyed me because Paris’s parts were so scripted. And she’s not an actress. Watching her recite lines about “what it really takes to impress me” or what’s “just creepy” made me hate her even more. Is it really so hard to just talk like a normal person? Does some poor MTV intern really need to make cue cards with phrases like, “Now, we’re going to see how they act when they think I’m not around”?
The show follows a standard “perform in a competition and then be judged and cast off” format. This week, they had to do something for “Show and Tell”…to show and tell Paris how much they loved her. What an awesome display of creepiness for the sake of ego! There’s no way to do well in that competition, which explains why Paris hated them all. But when you’re trying to imitate and impress a hateful person, the result is going to be pretty much hateful.
Paris also went undercover and posed as a contestant to see how they behaved when they thought they were alone. No big change: they were still just idiots! And even with a black wig on, so was she.
Even with MTV’s six minute commercial breaks, this show was too long. If I go to hell, I expect the devil to subtract 30 minutes. I did my time with Paris.
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