by Oryomai
We have reached the end of an era: the final episode of The Cougar. Stacey has narrowed it down from twenty hotties to the final two: Colt and Jimmy. These are not the two boys that I thought would make it to the final two (sorry Travis), but I'm just a cougar-in-training. Stacey says that she is falling for both boys.
The biggest challenge: Colt and Jimmy meet Stacey's kids. I understand having the two boys meet the older children, but that youngest girl looks like she's about twelve goddamn years old. What the fuck is Stacey's issue? She says that if her kids don't like one of the boys, then it's a total deal breaker? I absofuckinglutely hate people that base their entire lives on what their kids think. Stacey takes her son to help with lunch and leaves the daughters with Colt. In a completely screwed up way, Stacey is treating her son like he's her father. She says that Grant thinks he's the man of the house, and he should feel like that. What the fuck is going on with this family? Colt starts up with his goddamn guitar again. He's really good at it, but he seems like a one-noter. I could see Colt more with the daughter than with Stacy...hmm...I wonder if the daughter would be able to hook up with him once the show is over.
Now its Jimmy's turn. He shows up with food and flowers. He doesn't want the kids to get the wrong impression of him aka the impression everyone else gets: that he's a body without a brain. Quite the body though. Apparently, Jimmy's last girlfriend had two kids. It's the girls' turn to question Jimmy. He definitely seems to cater to the children more than Jimmy did. The youngest daughter asks Jimmy if he's falling in love with Stacey, he says yes but he wants to keep it a secret. Child molester much? Grant takes Jimmy off for their little alone discussion. It's hella awkward watching a 15 year old interrogating a 23 year old about his mom. Jimmy gets along with the children better because he has the same IQ as they do.
Now that Stacey's kids have met both our finalists, it's time for them to discuss them. Stacy has some sort of fucked up relationship with these kids where they're more like her friends/parents than her children. What do these kids know about relationships? That fat daughter is probably a virgin.
Stacey has a last date with each of the boys. Both finalists got along well with the children, so there's no make-or-break on that. Colt and Stacy have a drink, and Colt writes Stacy a song. Again. I like out-of-work musicians just as much as the next lady, but I also like to know that they are able to do something else. Luckily for Colt, Stacey thinks it's endearing. He admits that he's falling in love with her. Stacy's starting to look a bit ragged around the eyes – maybe these 20-somethings are finally getting to her. Jimmy and Stacy have dinner. Jimmy could be quite the little househusband. Oh! He wrote Stacey a note that he follows up by saying he loves her. This boy is playing to win.
The final kiss-off. Thankfully, for the dignity of the boys, she does these separately. Vivica A. Fox wishes them luck and sends them inside. Stacey tells Colt how she feels about him and asks him to kiss her. Stacey loves him, but she's not in love with him. Ouch. Oh thank god...they put a camera in the car so we can watch Colt's heart break. TVLand...do we really need to spend five minutes watching this poor guy cry? Even I think this is in poor taste. Jimmy's turn. The same series of events repeats. He gets the lips! We're treated to some Bittersweet Symphony sounding music while they make out.
What surprises could be left for us Cougar fans? JIMMY PROPOSES!!!! Oooh...that's a nice rock. She says yes!!!! Let this be a lesson to all you skeptics out there: you can find true love by competing on a reality show. The show ends on a soft-focus montage about their history on the show.
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