New York Goes To Work/ VH1/ Monday nights

by Oryomai

I don't know about you, but I had definitely missed New York. I missed her piercing screams, her giant fake tits, and the way she thinks that's good at things. The premise of this show is that New York is trying to make it as an actress, but she needs a day job! Which begs the question, what the fuck has she been doing the entire time that she was on these reality shows? Nevertheless, each week you can text vote to see what job New York gets for the week. If she proves that she is a competent person capable of performing the most basic tasks, she gets $10,000. If she doesn't, she gets what the rest of us get for watching her show – jack shit.

First up, New York is going to be an exterminator. She basically runs around screaming and swatting at her weave. She's already pulled out the HBIC card (that stands for Head Bitch in Charge). Always the feminist icon, she proves the stereotype that women are afraid of bugs. First, we watch her run from bees. Then snakes. Oh! She puts on a helmet camera to find a dead animal under a house. If she doesn't deal with this dead animal, she doesn't get paid. I would pick up a dead, rotting rat covered in maggots with my teeth for $10,000 – bitch can do it with proper tools and trained professionals. She runs away like a banshee.

The exterminators then have a panel to decide if New York gets her ten grand. The bees guy says she passes (even though she shrieked.) The snake guy lets her pass because (even though she ran away, she came back.) The dead animal removal guy gives her the big FAIL because she left him hanging under the house. The head exterminator says that she failed at the biggest job. He still lets her get her check though.

This show is basically just a half an hour chance for the working class of America to humiliate someone. After this first episode in which group of white male exterminators judge the black female, I'm not sure how this is going to go. Also, can you imagine if this obnoxious reality show bitch shows up at your workplace and makes ten grand for staying one day? What the fuck do these people actually make? This show started off like a lame-ass knock-off second rate straight-to-video version of the Simple Life. Here's hoping it gets better!

Next week: pig farmer, construction worker, or pet groomer?!