Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches/ Travel Channel/Thursdays

by Elizabeth Wilk

Of all the “Girls Next Door,” I always loved Bridget the best. Mostly because of how much we have in common: we both have journalism degrees and great career tracks that we choose to ignore to instead focus on throwing theme parties. We can’t take anything too seriously, and
enjoy trying new activities, especially those that require a costume. (After seeing the episode of Girl’s Next Door where she dresses in lederhosen in Germany, I knew if we ever met, we’d be instant friends.)

So even though I wanted to hate “Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches” and knew, on some level, that it sucked, I still liked it, because Bridget is really, really likeable. She’s cheesy, beautiful, gracious, and so sweet. Her lifelong dream was to be a Playmate—but she got cut from the magazine and ended up as a girlfriend instead.

This week’s episode actually seemed straight out of a Playboy erotic story: an island called “Phuket” where tan and blonde Bridget and her beautiful friend Cara visited a snake charmer, rode elephants, and played with moneys and bananas. Maybe I wouldn’t have read the
island’s name phonetically or took note of all the phallic symbols if the hostess was someone other than a naked model/porn magnate’s girlfriend, but I couldn’t separate the two.

As for the island, Bridget and Cara had some very profound things to say about it….
Climate: “It’s hotter than H-E-double-hockey-sticks-out here!”
Scenery: “I expected it to be more…jungely.”
Beaches: “There is glitter and gold metallic pieces in the sand!”
Locals: “Why is everyone wearing Speedos here?”

The island is gorgeous, although from a technical standpoint, it would have been nice to see more of its natural beauty. From this episode, Phuket didn’t come off as particularly sexy. Some of their activities included riding “cute little taxis wherever they want to take us!” and parasailing, as well as a trip to an amusement park/zoo where they dressed like Thai princesses and pretended to work there, offering to take pictures with tourists. Children tourists. Some 4-year-old now has a picture with Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriend and centerfold. This only proves that being cute and blonde can earn you forgiveness for a multitude of sins. That’s ultimately what makes “Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches” forgivable.