dinner is foreplay for city folk
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Saturday, April 25, 2009

Mastodon/ Crack The Skye/ Relapse/ 2009

A good friend told me recently that “Mastodon is too metal for non-metalheads, and not metal enough for metalheads,” and I think that this sentiment points us toward the true function of the band. Mastodon systematically deconstructs any stable understanding of “metal” we can create.

Metal, as a genre, is plagued by categorization; multiple and varied sub-definitions spawn almost infinitely. Hardcore, grind, stoner, death, black, fantasy, doom, funeral doom, and progressive are all possible prefixes for metal. The thing that makes Mastodon fascinating is how seamlessly they integrate elements from all of the above categories to produce something that is always simultaneously too metal and not metal enough. Within a span of one minute, in any given song, Mastodon can make you weep or melt your face off, and they don’t care which.

Crack the Skye, Mastodon’s most recent exercise in face melting, is their most perplexing, beautiful, haunting, and brutal opus. During the anthemic climax of the titular track, “Crack the Skye,” Troy Sanders wails “Deep within this endless void/ searching for a sign…Weight of worlds is on your shoulders/ hear the voice of gold.” These words pull us into the complex concept behind the album’s construction and the true influence of Mastodon on metal: severing the signified from the signifiers, and leaving the world and reason behind to be carried into realms between time and space. Here we encounter demons, Rasputin, a Tsarina, the devil himself, and all of the dark places in our very souls. The currency here is golden souls and mystical transformation, and we watch as our understanding of the world around us falls crumbling to the ground. Mastodon have already proven their ability to craft delicately brutal concept albums, from Leviathan (a retelling of Moby Dick) to Blood Moutain (epic battles with monstrous intergalactic alien beings), but Skye finds them more deftly creating a musical setting that complements their intellectual conceptions.

Mastodon defies all conventional modes of metal composition, juxtaposing sailing parallel guitar arpeggios (in major keys) against growling yelps (helped of course by Scott Kelly of Neurosis fame) and primal drums. The construction of overarching atmosphere in the composition of Skye surpasses their previous albums, and Mastodon is able here to literally transport us into the world they create, forcing us to forget that we are listening to five scruffy dudes playing instruments. Each song is structured individually, adapting and responding to each new theme presented, giving us the difficult task of keeping up with rapid harmonic, thematic, and structural shifts.

Skye does what all other Mastodon albums have strived to do: force controlled immersion into a fantastical world that stretches our ability to negotiate our relationships with ourselves and the world around us. As we are pushed into the “realm of mystic majesty” Mastodon orchestrates a beautiful symphony of crushing breakdowns and spectral melodies, disrupting our ability to pin down their conceptual project, and providing us with a fully engrossing listen.

- CHAYNES

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Do You Want Fries With That?

By Max Gold, Age 13

There’s a quiet little town, in a world, on about a 78 degrees angle from Venus, about 2389329 miles away from Venus, full of really, really, really fat people. These people loved to eat; they would eat everything, from liver to asparagus, from chocolate to Sticky Cheese, and from Jelly to Jam. Now these people were happy people and no one ever put them down.

Outside Earth, there’s this gigantic space ship. This space ship looks exactly like a hamburger, with seeds every few yards and all. Their salt and pepper guns were loaded, and ready to hit this planet full of fat people (although they the McDonaldians didn‘t know they were fat.) The King Grilled Chicken stood up on the ice cream cone pillar, ready to make a speech.

“Hello My fellow McDonaldians” The King Grilled Chicken said. “Today we march down to earth, and we fight to death!” he screamed.

This got much applause, especially from a Chicken nugget, named Crispy Gangsta. “Yeah let’s show dem homies we gunna pop a soda cap up their-” But he was cut off when the king threw a ketchup packet at him. “Shut it. Now unleash all flamin’ hot sauce!” The King screamed.

Down on Earth all the fat people were having a “we-ate-ten-thousand-pieces-of-chicken-day.” Now as we all know that’s a huge celebration, everyone who’s anyone goes there.

Then, out of nowhere, it started raining salt and pepper. Then the sound of hamburgers the size of pillows ringed in everyone ears. Then… a giant pillow sized hamburger flew down from the sky. It was Crispy Gangsta ready for action.

Unfortunately a boy named Chungy saw Crispy’s ship and got over excited. He ran at the hamburger full force, and swallowed Crispy Gangsta whole. Then he tore that hamburger down and ate the entire thing in five seconds, and wanted more. Then the rest of the space ships came down. In half an hour not one scrap of food was left. Except the mother ship which had landed.

“I come to you humans in peace and hope we can make a fair agreement, and-” but he got cut off when Chungy got a little too hungry. He swallowed the king in one gulp. The poor McDonaldians had no idea what was coming… But the voluptuous folk on the ground sure got a lot of fun out of eating the mother ship.

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