dinner is foreplay for city folk
dinner

Monday, April 20, 2009

About Us

Dinner is Foreplay for Cityfolk brings the fucking back into making love. Our purpose:

  1. Every meal should begin with light creative quotes, poetry or text which will be extraordinarily appetizing.

  2. Food should be enjoyed and worshiped. It should be prepared by hand and eaten with orgasms. And when it’s straight up paid for, it better get you wasted.

  3. Remind readers reality television is worth watching if you remember it is the equivalent of your lover nibbling on your neck for hours. Unless it’s Toddlers & Tiaras.

  4. Let music seep into your ears and sway down to your soul. Let text envelop your eyes and eat away at envy.

We at Dinner Is Foreplay For City Folk have multiple purposes for presenting our opinions of others ideas, and most of it redonk(ulous), and we're 100% O.K. with that.

The Team is presented below:

Editor-In-Chief:
Cacia Y. Pepe

Staff Writers:
Armon Burnside
Eriq F.
Chaynes
Imogen V. Shahrazad
Oryomai
Mitch LeClair
Eugene Zambrano
Lauren Rara

Resident Artist:
Eryn Rose

For comments, questions, or inquiries about submissions and if you’d like to sign up for our mailing list, please write to: Diffcf AT gmail DOT com
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Do You Want Fries With That?

By Max Gold, Age 13

There’s a quiet little town, in a world, on about a 78 degrees angle from Venus, about 2389329 miles away from Venus, full of really, really, really fat people. These people loved to eat; they would eat everything, from liver to asparagus, from chocolate to Sticky Cheese, and from Jelly to Jam. Now these people were happy people and no one ever put them down.

Outside Earth, there’s this gigantic space ship. This space ship looks exactly like a hamburger, with seeds every few yards and all. Their salt and pepper guns were loaded, and ready to hit this planet full of fat people (although they the McDonaldians didn‘t know they were fat.) The King Grilled Chicken stood up on the ice cream cone pillar, ready to make a speech.

“Hello My fellow McDonaldians” The King Grilled Chicken said. “Today we march down to earth, and we fight to death!” he screamed.

This got much applause, especially from a Chicken nugget, named Crispy Gangsta. “Yeah let’s show dem homies we gunna pop a soda cap up their-” But he was cut off when the king threw a ketchup packet at him. “Shut it. Now unleash all flamin’ hot sauce!” The King screamed.

Down on Earth all the fat people were having a “we-ate-ten-thousand-pieces-of-chicken-day.” Now as we all know that’s a huge celebration, everyone who’s anyone goes there.

Then, out of nowhere, it started raining salt and pepper. Then the sound of hamburgers the size of pillows ringed in everyone ears. Then… a giant pillow sized hamburger flew down from the sky. It was Crispy Gangsta ready for action.

Unfortunately a boy named Chungy saw Crispy’s ship and got over excited. He ran at the hamburger full force, and swallowed Crispy Gangsta whole. Then he tore that hamburger down and ate the entire thing in five seconds, and wanted more. Then the rest of the space ships came down. In half an hour not one scrap of food was left. Except the mother ship which had landed.

“I come to you humans in peace and hope we can make a fair agreement, and-” but he got cut off when Chungy got a little too hungry. He swallowed the king in one gulp. The poor McDonaldians had no idea what was coming… But the voluptuous folk on the ground sure got a lot of fun out of eating the mother ship.

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